Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
