My first STD was from a foam party
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
