And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
