Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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