Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
