I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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