Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
