i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
splinters make it hard to masturbate
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
