My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
