she smelled like a LAN party
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
