i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
