NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
