It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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