Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
