I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
