I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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