she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
