you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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