if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
