She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
