"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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