i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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