People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
