Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
