I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
