Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize