is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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