i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
