so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
