just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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