i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
