just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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