i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
