I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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