Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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