Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
