I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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