Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
