I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
smell my finger.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
