i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
