Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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