I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
MIDGETS
????
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
