did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
