my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
