I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
