Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
