Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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