True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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