how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
only you would photoshop your dick
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
