There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
